The Sweet Taste Of Forgiveness

Luke's Gospel explores our human need for healing; it offers us a story, which focuses on the pain of broken relationships and the search for reconciliation.

The younger son has come to see himself for what he is, and he knows he doesn't deserve to have his apology accepted - but no matter; he'll still go home, and apologise for all the wrongs he has committed. That's a real surprise.

But an even bigger surprise is the way his father reacts - running down the road to meet him, forgetting his dignity and how badly his son has hurt him, in his overwhelming joy at being reunited.

No matter that he's the injured party, no matter that the money the boy has squandered can never be recovered; none of that matters, only a heart-warming reconciliation to be celebrated.

Seeking and offering forgiveness is never a calculated risk with pros and cons to be weighed - it's the kind of risk that we take when we hold nothing back, and in its place receive far more than we could ever dream.

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Gracious Father, we pray for all who carry the pain and disappointment of rejection. Enfold us in your love and mercy, heal the painful memories, and give us courage and humility to trust ourselves to one another and to You. Amen.

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While he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. Then the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against Heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly, bring out a robe - the best one - and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'
Luke 15:20-24

What Does It All Mean?

Sometimes it can feel as if our world is falling apart. Just look at the news: One of Iraq’s most sacred mosques has been destroyed, clearly with the intent of provoking a civil war. In America, Congress and the Senate are up in arms because President Bush has contracted with the United Arab Emirates to manage American ports. Well, crikey, I actually applaud him for doing this, but there are others who are on the warpath because of their supposed paranoid logic that if it’s Arab – it must be dangerous!

And here at home an absolutely cunning group of desperados have heisted somewhere around 50 Million pounds by kidnapping and terrorising an 8 year old boy, his mother, and father. And the icing on the cake today is that the Mayor of London deliberately and maliciously compared a Jewish reporter from a respected newspaper with an SS, swastika wearing, Nazi who worked in a concentration camp!

So what does it all mean? Are some people just born bad, destined to destroy themselves and others, create strife, unfairly judge cultures, and insult and demean others? Our faith says ‘no!’ Our faith says that every one of us is born good, made in God's image. But if this is true, why do so many good people end up doing or saying such monstrous things?

Jesus spoke His last words to His disciples: ‘Go out to all the world and share the Good News, not just by talking about it, but by living it, helping people to see what a real life looks like, just as I helped you to see that.’ Having said that, Jesus ascends to the heavens and disappears from sight.

What happens next is...well…absolutely nothing! Nobody moves or does a thing, till finally an angel speaks up: ‘Don't just stand there looking up at the sky. Get busy. You have work to do. People need YOUR help if they are to make lives that are worth living.’

We all need one another's help, lots of it, day in and day out, if we are to make lives that are worth living. And we all owe the same kind of help to one another. So many of God's good people end up stumbling badly or even destroying themselves because, at crucial moments, other good people may be sitting on their hands or staring up at the sky.

Just as great lives start small and are built a piece at a time with the help of many people, so it is with monstrous lives: They are crafted slowly, over a very long time, with many good people sitting on their hands on the sidelines. Heroes and monsters are not born; they are made.

Being Christian certainly isn't about being perfect. It's about getting better, a tiny piece at a time, with the help of our friends. If we truly want the beautiful world we say we want, we have to help one another get better. We have to help! And that brings us to our question:

Are we helping? Am I? Are you? If not, why not start now!

We’ve already been given a demonstration how to!

The Human Condition

Anyone who has attended a philosophy course will most likely recall a discussion on humans being social beings. How true.

We need to live in the company of others if we are to survive and thrive. And when we are deprived of that continuous contact and exchange, we wither and die from within, as happens so often among small children and the elderly who have been abandoned. We surely do need one another if we are to survive.

The gift of friendship, the willingness to share our company and our selves with others is indeed a golden gift, but it can have its dark side too.

Just as our love and good example can lift up and carry along the people around us, our bad example can drag our neighbours down and can lead them along terrible paths they never would have discovered without our active or passive urgings.

It’s not only our children who watch and imitate what we do. To a surprising extent, our peers and often even our elders are influenced and moved by what we say and do. It’s an immense power that we have in our hands, and we must use it wisely and circumspectly as Jesus did at every moment.

Each of us holds a wonderful gift to give in the form of a life well and rightly lived. Share that gift as faithfully as you can, and you will always know the joy of living without regrets.

Clearing Away The Fog

The famous author, C.S. Lewis said, ‘Virtue, even attempted virtue, brings light. Indulgence brings fog.’ For clearing away fog, pain is sometimes necessary. As Samuel Johnson once observed, ‘Nothing so wonderfully concentrates the mind as the prospect of a hanging.’

If you are suffering for your sins, thank God for the wake up call and turn back to Him. Don't take it as a sign you've been rejected but rather take it for what it is: a call to return to His open arms. His love is everlasting.

Emotional Blackmale

‘Well, if he would only find a better job and earn more money, then I wouldn’t have to behave this way…’ It’s a fact of life that we’ve all experienced this type of deprecating rationalisation, whether through providing pastoral counselling, or simply by listening to friends, and Heaven forbid, even possibly through our own voices.

People who use the ‘If you...then I’ kind of argument always know what’s right, what will set the world right, and their thinly veiled threat really says ‘If you don’t conform to my image of what is right, regardless of whether my own actions might be part of the problem, then I shall reek havoc upon you until you acquiesce.’

On the domestic front these are the people who are quite clear about what their marriage needs and if only their spouse had the good sense to see it their way, all would be well. It would be a betrayal of principle not to argue their point, spineless not to insist on the rightness of their cause. So they graciously and lovingly seek validation and clarification from others. All you have to do is to follow this policy, make this declaration, drop or adopt this particular idea.

Whatever’s wrong is your fault. You are the aggressive one, whose policies, beliefs and behaviours, are causing disruption to a marriage, dividing churches, and delaying peace in war-torn countries.

Every now and then you get a sudden insight into this common form of emotional blackmail, for that’s what it is. If you want the war to continue, if you want the marriage to end - if you really want to destroy the Church - the strategy is to claim, and indeed to believe, that far from making demands or being difficult, you’ve simply been forced into your position by the other’s intransigence. In psychology this is called passive aggression. In theology it is called the sin of presumption -because we presume our own innocence rather than seeking the judgment of God.

It is, in fact, a thoroughly aggressive way to behave. It is attempting to force an issue by emotional violence. We don’t always recognise the violence because we live in a society where manipulation to get our way is often preferred to painstaking negotiation.

As our society moves further away from the Christian values of self-restraint and respect for others, I fear we will have to put up with more and more of these tantrums, even from our elected leaders.

Speaking of tantrums reminds me of the terrible threats of Violet Elizabeth Bott in the ‘William’ books. Violet Elizabeth Bott was a very properly brought up little girl. But when she didn’t get her own way she had an unfailing weapon. She would cry: ‘I’ll thkweam and thkweam and thkweam until I’m thick’. I don’t think she ever was actually sick, but everyone was so terrified that she might be that they rushed to placate her.

Presumption is a sin that comes from weakness, from a failure to deal with reality. The answer is not to placate it but to stand up to it and make it show its true face.

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Lord God, we pray for you to deepen our hunger for a world at peace, in which there is justice for all humankind and care for the whole creation. Teach us the imperfections of our understanding and lead us in the way of your Son Jesus Christ to worship in spirit and in truth. Amen.

My Crystal Ball

Look, I know my crystal ball is no more accurate than yours. But it’s becoming almost certain that a great needless tragedy is about to befall our world.

Please understand, I’m no Bible thumping, come up to the altar and repent now doomsday predictor. But I do believe I have some qualified experiential understanding of the human emotions of hurt and rage, and the reactions of people when they become so incensed by their anger that they become obsessed in seeking to avenge the wrongs that have been perpetrated against them. Phew…long sentence!

I have already been so deeply saddened over the events surrounding the publications of the tasteless and offensive cartoons in the Danish newspaper. The Danish are such a lovely people and I feel so deeply for them that they are now victims of a backlash because of an individual’s inappropriate and hurtful actions.

Less than a week later, film is being broadcast around the world showing the British military apprehending barefoot, rock-throwing Iraqi youths and beating them repeatedly. I cannot describe my disgust and shame over these images, and my concerns for our troops who serve there, who have always considered themselves as peacekeepers and ambassadors for democracy and cultural understanding.

Despite full knowledge of the rage and hurt it caused, other publications, namely the French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo, chose to again reprint the offensive cartoons.

There's no good reason for any press to re-publish material proven to incite violent demonstrations and lead to endangering the lives of others, redeployment of troops and closure of embassies. It seems to me to be a wholly gratuitous exercise, not an exercise in democratic freedoms.

Now, the Iranian Embassy in Frankfurt is demanding that the German paper Der Tagesspiegel issue an apology for their denigrating and offensive depiction of the Iranian World Cup team as terrorist bombers. Of course, the German paper is refusing to apologise, invoking their rights of free press.

And here we are this morning, just days after this litany of poor taste and abuse, we now see the most repugnant, vile images from Abu Ghraib prison, showing further abuse of prisoners, including one who is clearly mentally ill. And this isn’t a happenstance occurrence. The person doing the filming has had plenty of time to take multiple shots from different angles, including a broad-shot from a higher point in the prison, perhaps a second floor.

This is just outrageous! I remember the film of the beating of Rodney King in America. This film was only made by luck. Just imagine how many other events may have occurred that were never discovered. And after the filming of British troops and the new film from Abu Ghraib, my thoughts are along similar lines: how many instances of abuse have never been captured on film?

The press is reporting that the White House is taking steps to prevent the publication of the images. It’s too late, and there’s no doubt that wherever people have been aggrieved, their rage from other events is only being compounded. And each time we see more of this, innocent people get caught up in the expressions of rage.

When people are so hurt and aggrieved, sometimes, unfortunately, even apologising isn’t enough to heal. Dialogue and constructive ideas may sometimes help, but that often doesn’t heal the pain. And in these instances, people who want to correct the wrongs often look to their leaders for guidance. And it’s that leadership that can guide and nurture others into modelling the leader’s behaviour and persona. At least it's a start.

Sadly though, we may already have a glimpse of one leader’s understanding of the benefits of contrition or apologies, when all the public hears after that individual shoots a friend of his:

No Comment.

Almighty and merciful Father, we have erred. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done. Have mercy upon us. Lead us to build a peaceful world. Guide and protect our leaders. Help us to find ways to give our children a world that lives in peace, rather than a world that lives in division. Amen

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Religious Leaders Anglican Prayers

Islamic Cartoons Apology

I would like to offer a public apology to all who were offended by a series of cartoons, which depicted the Prophet Mohammed in a degrading manner. Not only were the cartoons offensive, they further contributed towards fuelling the maligning of a religion. In any civilised society this is clearly unacceptable.

I must also apologise, unreservedly, to those who have become victims as a consequence of the outrage expressed over the cartoon’s publication. It should now be abundantly clear that the perception of ‘freedom of expression’ does, in fact, have limitations when an expression serves no other purpose than to cause ridicule, hurt, or insult to others.

I realise that these actions have caused pain and suffering for many who have worked so hard to dispel the misunderstandings and misrepresentations of the Islamic faith. The creation and dissemination of these cartoons only led to further promote Islamophobia and widen the rift between the world’s great faiths.

From this regrettable incident, I hope that we can find ways to achieve a peaceful and respectful co-existence through discussion and education. And that we may continue to build relationships that will serve as an example to our children, and generations to come, that their forefathers worked to bring the world together, rather than create schism.

I am profoundly remorseful for these untenable events and hope this apology will be accepted in the spirit and sincerity in which it has been offered.

And finally on behalf of everyone, I'm sorry that I’m constantly apologising for things in such a passive-aggressive manner, which is actually a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this as well.

Facing Up To It

Facing up to our mistakes and our sins is generally slow and strenuous work. It’s not unlike the process of dying. And what often comes first is a period of denial: ‘I didn’t do anything wrong; besides, I didn’t really have any choice.’ This stage of self-deception may persist for a long time.

Meanwhile, there are the unhappy consequences to be lived with, and they can make us not only sad but angry, resentful, and blaming: ‘It’s all his fault, and it’s just not fair.’ Many people can never get beyond that stage.

God forgives us provided we move past denial, excuses and blaming others and instead take ownership of our own guilt. It’s much easier said than done. But the alternative is to waste God’s gift of life, and that would be a tragedy indeed.

Retribution

All the distress and retributions over the printings of cartoons, that demeaned the prophet Mohammed, have caused pain and outrage for many. But religion-based distress isn’t limited to the cartoons: the events of Northern Ireland, the burning of churches in America, the desecration of Jewish cemeteries and synagogues have all been catalysts for rage and the instinct for retribution.

Yet all the violence and burnings raise the issue of how we respond when we have an unqualified sense that others have done us wrong, What do we do with our outrage? Here the question is posed on an international scale, but it is a common experience in life.

The words of Jesus offer a Christian perspective, which sounds strange: ‘Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.’ This seems odd. It seems an invitation to a kind of persecution complex. If false things have been said, surely they must be put right. There must be protest and outrage and we must stand up for our rights. Yes?

Yet there is a deep strength to this understanding. Falsehood and suffering are normal parts of life. Big and small wrongs are committed every day. Throughout the world many people will be badly treated at work; neighbours will cause offence. The escalation of wrongs is also common.

When we feel wronged by others most of us feel able to justify, vociferously, our own bad reactions. ‘Well, he hit me first!’ It's said in international politics as well as in pre-school playground. What Jesus urges is that wrongs do not pass through me to someone else, but die in me. And when wrongs die, a great victory has been won.

Often, wrongs can live on for decades. Iran has yet to forget the Western support for Saddam Hussein in the killing of its people, nor has the West forgotten Iran's killing of the American hostages. Iraq has not forgotten the Shah of Persia imposed on them by a Western Government. And the back and forth of painful perceptions can continue to fester.

Much of this conflict is relived history, as are many family and religious disputes. Yet, Jesus' words to His followers means they are not to retaliate, even when people ‘falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.’ Christians are forbidden to take offence, and it is this principle that has to reign.

It's an extremely hard principle, and, sadly, too often ignored. It's also a great source of blessing. Leaving wrongs behind is wonderful, both for the offender and the victim. It renews relationships and opens up possibilities.

The business of annihilating wrongs is one of the greatest tasks of life, and Jesus both tells, and shows us, how to do it. As nails bit through His flesh and He suffered the outrage of others He prayed ‘Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.’

Lord, grant us patient faith in times of darkness. Amen

Be Nice To Your Children...or Else!

As I stood at the traffic crossing, I listened to a mother earnestly explain to her small son why it was so important that they should always stop and look both ways before attempting to cross the road. It was a simple comment from a loving parent, but woven in an embracing cloak of nurturing responsibility and love.

Raising or teaching children is an awesome responsibility that has its challenges and rewards. Think of it: God has given some of us the responsibility of caring for a living being who is created in His image. When we offer our children to God we are acknowledging that we are stewards, not owners. We are also acknowledging that one day we will stand before God and answer for how we brought them up. Truly, our children are a great gift from God and the enormity of the task should sober us.

Each day is joy drenched with anxiety. If you experience a bit of anxiety about raising your children, it suggests that you’re on the ball and your children will benefit in the long-run. And if that isn’t enough of an incentive, you could take the fear route.

Remember, when you become old, it’s your children who get to select your nursing home!

Wisdom Of Age

From time to time these days, because there is a shortage of skilled workers in some industries, we hear calls for the return of the apprenticeship system. It is not entirely lost, of course, for many of us have reason to be thankful for older wiser heads that showed us the ropes as we began our career, or started fresh in a new setting and did not know how things were done.

Having an apprentice was initially taking on a greater responsibility than teaching someone a trade. With the skills and secrets of the trade went also instructions about how to live, the learning of manners and appropriate behaviour. It is always the responsibility of the older generation to help bring up the young.

There are explanations to be given of why things are done as they are. There are stories to be told of past experts and attention to be given to the quality of what was done before. To forget, overlook or discard the past is to risk the loss of identity, the pride that belongs with being part of a tradition, profession or nation.

This is why remembering is so emphasized in the Bible. One generation must commend Gods works to another and tell of God's mighty acts, lest they forget and lose their way. It is no surprise that at the heart of worship is the recalling of an old story and the remembering, the re-membering, at a meal. Without this conscious bearing of responsibility by the people of God something more than a memory will be lost.

Welcome To My Office

I had written to a friend the other evening and mentioned the ‘Daily Office’ in my email. But last night, in one of those inexplicable moments that wake you for no reason, whatsoever, I mumbled to myself that ‘I should have explained that better.’ And as best as I can recollect, within seconds I was back in the land of Winkin, Blinkin and Nod.

The ‘Daily Office’ is what the Church calls the daily cycle of liturgical prayer. ‘Office’ as in ‘work.’ Not just any work, though: the term ‘office’ implies work that is expected or required. The Office is something you do because of what you are. The office of a pilot is to fly planes. The office of a doctor is to evaluate patient needs and help them get better. And the office of a person of faith is to pray.

Certainly, we can pray any way we like. It isn’t necessary to use an office book. But for many it is not easy to pray when you don’t have a regular rule for doing so. You may tell yourself that you’ll just pray when something comes to mind, but that’s more of a ‘maybe I will and maybe I won’t sort of commitment.’

But I want to. I want to invest in my prayer. I want to be a shareholder. I want to enhance my skills to be the kind of person for whom prayer is an office, something expected of me. Something I expect of myself. Something I do because of who I am. A rule helps. And the dependable presence of our beautiful Anglican prayers help. Sometimes the solitude of a quiet church in the afternoon helps provide a spiritual window towards God. But I feel blessed in that I can often find the solitude I need even in the midst of a bustling city.

The times of the various components of the Daily Office are set. They’re called the ‘hours.’ Modern Anglicans ordinarily do four of the hours -- Morning Prayer, Noonday, Evening Prayer and Compline -- although some celebrate the entire ancient seven.

We didn't invent the hours. Jews and Muslims alike have ancient hours of prayer as well. When I lived in the Middle East, I was able to follow my office by listening to the Muslim’s call to prayer that was broadcast from the minarets throughout the city. I was often deeply moved by the thought that there we were, all of us, from every walk of life, lifting up our voices and our supplications to God, collectively, as one. Whatever our denomination – it mattered not. And the prayers we offered were not that far apart: protection for our families, peace with our neighbours, and a closer relationship with God.

It’s Friday evening. Our week is drawing to a close. ‘Let us bless the Lord.’

Thanks be to God! Indeed!

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Not That Old Chestnut Again!

Children In Crisis Exploited Children Death Of A Child

Anglican Prayers