The Act of Forgiving

I couldn’t understand how the man could be falling behind so badly in his responsibilities in caring for her needs. The house was a mess, laundry was piling up, there was no food in the fridge. It concerned me greatly. And when I confronted him, expressing my concerns, he told me that caring for her required his 24-hour attention. He said he was exhausted catering to her needs every hour – so much so that he could do virtually nothing else. 
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I hurt desperately for them both. I pitched in and did what I could to help. I sent him to the store. I did the laundry, cleaned the house from top to bottom, and my son cleaned their windows. And by the end of the day things looked much better. There was order in his life again and I hoped that it would help him to fulfil his responsibilities. 

But that evening, when the visiting nurse came on her home-visit rounds, she surprised me by what she had to say. She told me that virtually every time she came, he was on the computer playing games. He had become so addicted to them that he completely ignored her and the other staff when they came. She said it wasn’t her position or authority to point out to him that his home was collapsing around them because of this. And so he continued. 

Self-knowledge is a hard-won treasure, and even the best of us are blind to much of what our friends see clearly. Too often we blithely give convoluted explanations of our actions and intentions, which convince no one but ourselves. Fictions like 'I was just resting my eyes during the third act,' or ‘ my work has taken away all of my time for coming to church’ may make us feel fine, but fools no one. 

The self-deception may reach far deeper. We may well end up like the Pharisees, who clearly thought they were sinless and needful of no forgiveness, and therefore seemed apt critics of Jesus’ decision to consort with sinners. What they said sounds foolish and the height of arrogance, and indeed it was. But we do the same thing whenever we put ourselves outside the circle of the world's fools and sinners by ridiculing or denouncing them. 

If we were forced to depend solely on our lifetime record, unamended and uncleansed by any unearned forgiveness, we would all be doomed - without exception. We are all in trouble if left to our own devices. God gives His forgiveness freely; but there is no earning it. He asks but one thing in return, that we extend forgiveness with equal abandon to one another. 

If you want to be forgiven, then first learn to forgive.

When The Church Sins

The Death of a Child

The Funeral of a Child

  Urgently Required! Part-Time Wife!